Creature Suggestions?

[JCP]

No good place for this, but...

If you have ideas for creatures to be added, let's hear 'em.

We'll need:

Name:
Weapon:
Death Message:
Level:

"Spooky" things (i.e. skeletons, ghosts) get added to the graveyard.

No guarantees I'll add them to the Central Server, but I'll add the good ones.

Or maybe we'll have a poll in order to vote in your favorites.

[JCP]

Keep 'em coming...

Though Tarzan is out - I have no desire to face the Edgar Rice Burroughs estate. :)

BTW, we'll also be combing through the existing creatures in order to avoid any potential copyright issues - so let us know if you see 'em - all in an effort to make the whole database part of the 0.9.8 release - which is still a far way off due to all the work we're putting into it.

[Catscradler]

Creature: Nothing
Weapon:
(Alt weapon-if the editor requires an entry on each line: Nothing)
Level: 1
Death message: Have you really accomplished anything?

Creature: Badly spelled monster
Weapon: Pathetic excuse for a sword
Level: 3
Death message: Whoever coujured that up needs more practise.

Creature: Badly speld mnster
Weapon: Sworqd
Level: 11
Death message: You kill th mnster and lzasdof uie wrmec vu.

[Jamiefeerick]

Name:Shoplifter
Weapon: Bad excuses
Level: 1-7?
Death message: I knew that TV hadn't walked up your sleave!

[Angul]

No, Nexus, the post was directed at me. So i took off everything that was "offensive" I apologize to everyone for attempting to be funny and to cheer a couple of people up.

[Sneakabout]

Name: Evil Mouseball
Attack: Inaccurate Selection
Level: 4
Death: It ran away by mistake...

[neXus]

Sorry for that Angul, but the post was not directed at any single individual. You can post anything you want, and it may be funny in the forum too, but the database does get exported every now and then with a new release of the game and every server to use it gets every creature in it then... Those that do not know the forum would not get the jokes in that case... That is why I wrote that post... I know that there are currently creatures in the game that do not pass my inspection, but I no longer have any official say in the matter either, so I just thought that I would post the common points behind some of my most cherished creatures...

What I may or may not find offensive is not important, many things I would enjoy are NOT appropriate for the game, therefore I do not offer them.

*yay for insider jokes*

Going by the guideline is simply going to increase the chance that the creature you just created may actually be incorporated into the game, nothing more.

[Angul]

All is forgiven. I was in an extremely bad mood when i read that.

[Hammer]

Hammer is back with a new list. Oh, yes. Show mercy you ask? Bah! Take this!

The golem collection:

C: Straw Golem
W: Prickly Hay
L: 1
D: You set it afire and watch it burn away to ashes.

C: Paper Golem
W: Small Papercuts
L: 2
D: You wad it up and toss it in a recycling bin.

C: Plastic Golem
W: Suffocation
L: 3
D: You prefer paper anyway.

C: Mud Golem
W: Dirtiness
L: 4
D: Now you need a bath.

C: Clay Golem
W: Shape Changing Powers
L: 5
D: You mold it into a tombstone and leave it in the sun to dry.

C: Rock Golem
W: Fists of Stone
L: 6
D: Could've been worse... like a Elevator Music Golem for instance.

C: Bronze Golem
W: Copper-Tin Alloy Fists
L: 7
D: You wonder if the Olympic Games could use the remains.

C: Iron Golem
W: Iron Fists of Death
L: 8
D: It's creator should have oiled it before sending it out on a rampage.

C: Steel Golem
W: Stainlessness
L: 9
D: If it wasn't so heavy, you'd take it back for Pegasus to work with.

C: Copper Golem
W: Green Stain
L: 10
D: Where is a coin exchange when you need one?

C: Silver Golem
W: Blinding Reflection
L: 11
D: How much does it cost to make one of those things?

C: Gold Golem
W: Greedy Intentions
L: 12
D: Hah! It was just gold plating!

C: Wind Golem
W: Gusting Breaths
L: 13
D: The conclusion of this fight nearly blows you away!

C: Earth Golem
W: Avalanching Power
L: 14
D: You manage to dig yourself out of the remains before you suffocate.

C: Water Golem
W: Flash Flooding
L: 15
D: You gasp for breath as the Golem soaks into the ground.

C: Fire Golem
W: Fiery Breath
L: 16
D: You stamp out the last flicker of its life.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled forums.

[lonestrider]

Creature: Saddam Hussein
Weapon: Cowardly Hiding
Level: 1
Death Message: You have disposed of this deposed Despot...

A little topical...

Politics here? I've a lot to say... would ya want that? :twisted:


NOO... I play this so I don't have to be infosaturated with people's opinions. . .::Evil Laughter::

[Angul]

*laughs like crazy from all of Hammer's stuff* You are just to good.

C: College English Class
W: Deep Meanings
L:1
M: I'm not so superficial after all!


Did that make sense?

[Hammer]

Well, I see several of my creature suggestions along with several posted by others disappeared in the crash. If anyone still wants them, you'll have to steal them from dragoncat, where LadyPhoenix graciously uploaded them all. :)

When I get an itch, I'll post another list. It's late, and I'm exhausted right now, or I'd throw some up for you now. Thank whatever higher being you believe in for that. :twisted:

[LadyPhoenix]

It wouldn't be easy for me to retrieve the specific lists, but if I had to I could retrieve (manually, by physically typing it all back out again) all of the creatures that I have entered. I can't be sure which one were Hammer's and which weren't, though.

[whitecrow]

Creature: A Man Monkey
Weapon: A Magic Bo
Level: 3
Death Message: Pigsy Will Be Ever So Upset

C: A Naturalist
W: A Hushed English Whisper
L: 1
D: And now look, as he lays there, dead.

C: A Crow
W: Sorrow
L: 2
D: Only Six More To Go

C: A Political Activist
W: Anti-Something Sign
L: 4
D: Did that sign say "Ban The Dragon?"

C: A Copyrighter
W: Litigation
L: 5
D: Well, glad that's over. (C) (TM) (R) (P)

[LadyPhoenix]

C: A Copyrighter
W: Litigation
L: 5
D: Well, glad that's over. (C) (TM) (R) (P)

Would be better with...


D: Well, glad that's over. © ™ ® (P)

Sorry, I don't recognize what the P is supposed to stand for, or I'd find the symbol for it, too.

[Zombie]

:twisted:
More beasties, this time for the graveyard rather than the forest...

C: Scorpion
W: Venemous sting
L: 1
D: You crush it under your boot and move on

C: Beetle swarm
W: Scuttling sound
L: 2
D: They made your skin crawl

C: Lava monster
W: Flesh searing heat
L: 3
D: It slowly solidifies into a rock statue

C: Malevolent spirits
W: Glowing eyes in the dark
L: 4
D: Thankfully all they could do was glow

C: Man in hockey mask
W: Clawed glove with razor sharp blades
L: 5
D: Not very scarey. You've seen it all before.

C: Leper
W: Contagious Disease
L: 6
D: You take a quick dip in a rock pool to cleanse yourself.

C: Animate swamp slime
W: Suffocating cling
L: 7
D: Eugh. Time for another bath

C: Grasping hands breaking the ground
W: Skeletal fingers with numbing touch
L: 10
D: You move to rocky ground to avoid any more of them.

C: Kraken
W: Tentacles and beak
L: 11
D: You stagger from the water and lay on the beach gasping for breath

C: Ancient druid
W: Ramius' Sacraficial Dagger
L: 12
D: You wonder if he came through StoneHenge.

C: Gatekeeper of the Realm of Darkness
W: Reaper Scythe
L: 13
D: You casually pass through the gate and forget to shut it. Ooops.

C: Undead warrior king
W: Ever growing army of the undead
L: 14
D: There's never a chainsaw around when you need one

C: Ramius
W: Ramius's Sword of Judgement
L: 15
D: You break into a cold sweat

[whitecrow]

C: Soap Box Man
W: Loud Talking
L: 1
D: You Knock Him Off For Some Silence

C: High Horse Man
W: Better-Than-Thou Attitude
L: 2
D: Guess You Showed Him!

C: Bad, Pun.ct u:atio!n
W: Miss-placed characters
L: 3
D: And that's put an end to that - full stop.

C: Slighty Bad Villian
W: Try-Hard Laugh
L: 4
D: He wasn't very intimidating

C: Protege' of a Super-Villian
W: Badly Built Death Machine
L: 5
D: In the end, the death machine killed itself.

C: Butler To A Super-Villian
W: Silver Tray Of Death!
L: 6
D: Looks like you served him!

C: Enchanted Treasure Chest
W: Teeth
L: 7
D: Man, you don't want whatever's inside!

C: Lady Stuck In The 60's
W: Groovy-ness
L: 8
D: Get a haircut, you hippie!

C: Your Exact Double
W: An exact double of your weapon!
L: 9
D: It's hard to tell who won that fight!

C: Taxidermist
W: Skinning Knife
L: 10
D: You beat him by the skin of your teeth

C: Bad Pun
W: Pun Of Death
L: 11
D: Well, that was pun.

C: Egomaniac
W: Self-Love
L: 12
D: You put her back in her place!

C: Super-Villian
W: Ray Gun Of Evilness
L: 13
D: Looks like he was no match for your super ability!

C: Pixellated Picture
W: Pixel Brush
L: 14
D: You smoothed that one out.

C: Creature That Most Players Skip
W: Because they are killing the dragon
L: 15
D: Funny....aren't you meant to be doing something else?

[Hermanathor]

Hello,

I think these "creatures" could be a good addition to the "creature database".

Name: Anatotitan
Weapon: Mitten Hands
Death Message: I'm also know as duck titan (giant of Greek mythology)
Level: 1

Name: Torosaurus
Weapon: Large Head Crest
Death Message: I'm just a large sociable herbivore.
Level: 2

Name: Allosaurus
Weapon: 13 meters of length
Death Message: Do I really look mean and prickly ?
Level: 3

Name: Stegosaurus
Weapon: Small head for its size
Death Message: There you have it, large dinosaur, the size of an elephant, that had a brain no larger than a golf ball!
Level: 4

Name: Diplodocus
Weapon: Herd Travel
Death Message: I was a large plant-eating dinosaur with tremendously elongated neck and a whip-like tail.
Level: 5

Name: Ophthalmosaurus
Weapon: Long Dolphin-shaped Body
Death Message: I was a very common ichthyosaur in the late Jurassic
Level: 6

Name: Liopleurodon
Weapon: Largest Modern Whale Size
Death Message: I'm not the terror of the forest just the sea
Level: 7

Name: Coelophysis
Weapon: Hollow Form
Death Message: Will a scorpion make a tasty meal ?
Level: 8

Name: Mummified Dinosaur
Weapon: Fossilized Skeleton
Death Message: You reckon you will not be his last meal
Level: 9

Name: Velociraptor
Weapon: Speed
Death Message: How did you manage to elude me
Level: 10

Name: Tyrannosaurus
Weapon: Rex
Death Message: Next time you will not escape.
Level: 11

Name: Microraptor Gui
Weapon: Four Wings
Death Message: Now you have more evidence that birds evolved from dinosaurs
Level: 12

Name: Chrylophosaurus
Weapon: Iced Limbs In Antartica
Death Message: My fossils will arrive in Hammer's Rock Island lab by mid spring.
Level: 13

Name: Gigantosaurus
Weapon: Small Brain
Death Message: Bigger, badder and older than T-rex, he is vying for the title of scariest of all
Level: 14

Name: Quetzalcoatlus
Weapon: Huge 15 meter Wingspan
Death Message: I was was named after the Aztec god who looked like a feathered serpent
Level: 15

Name: Koolasuchus
Weapon: Lurking
Death Message: Eventhough capable of crawling on land, I feel more at home in water.
Level: 16

Name: Dwarf Allosaur
Weapon: Heavy Armor
Death Message: I'm a terror of the Antartic, not the forest.
Level: 17

Do feel free to comment, and if you want more, I can do more, heck, I just like dinosaurs and I reckon "death messages" can also be a little educational don't you think :idea: (specially for the young ones) :D .

Regards,

[Sneakabout]

Educational? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


::runs away screaming::

[Hermanathor]

Not for you Sneak, not for you. :wink:

Anyway, that word has got to be taken in between quotes.

Regards,

[BLOODDRAGON]

noooooo, no....no, no, no, no, i get enough of this "education" between my nap hours at school i dont need any more!

[Hermanathor]

pfu, I just like dinos and want to share some knowledge.

Regards and good luck at school (how I wish I could still be there, believe me, make the best of it), :(

[Pwyll]

I like the idea of creatures based on actual players, so...

N: Angua
W: Lycanthropy
D: If you turn furry at the next Full Moon, he'll have the last laugh
L: 3

N: Talking Shrub
W: Odd sense of humor
D: Hey! There's an Elf in that shrub!
L: 4

N: High Priestess Lonna
W: Drunken table dance
D: Well, that's over with - let's go get an ale!
L: 6

and, most horrifying of all:

N: Level 1 Farmcreature™
W: Questions covered by the FAQ
D: You have a feeling you'll see him again.
L: 10 (or higher)

[Sneakabout]

The Farmie already exists..... and I'm in the Forest at level 15!

I'm glowing with pride......

...or is that the psychic discharge of being killed many times over by unforgiving Farmies....?

...ye never can tell.

[Pwyll]

Sneakabout:
The Farmie already exists

Really? I've never encountered that one! I have had the pleasure of killing you in the Forest, though... :wink:

[Angul]

I like the idea of creatures based on actual players, so..


*Feels so left out. *:(

I thought evil creatures belonged in the forest.....and I'm almost as evil as they come.... :twisted: :evil:

[Mitsuko]

I have a few ideas. Just thought them up.

C: Poor Priest
W: Holey Robes
L: 2
D: I think the light he felt was really a breeze.

C: Hood Gangster
W: Gangster Thug Talk
L: 3
D: You took care o' dat mo-fo, fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

[jrminga]

it sounds obvious, so it's probably somewhere. but if'n it isn't:

(Obnoxious) Tourist
W: Expensive Camera
L: hmm. 6?
D: If it's Tourist Season, does that mean you can hunt them?

[BLOODDRAGON]

I have a few ideas. Just thought them up.

C: Poor Priest
W: Holey Robes
L: 2
D: I think the light he felt was really a breeze.

C: Hood Gangster
W: Gangster Thug Talk
L: 3
D: You took care o' dat mo-fo, fo' shizzle, my nizzle.

oh hahaha :lol: you probably wernt there, but i was there one night teaching people ( whom i will remain namesless so Rondel doesnt go after us again) how to speak "Gangsta-Thug" cuase i know from all my friends/ movies/ blablabla and Rondels like " AHHHHHH! MUST KILL GANGSTA_ THUG USERS!" so i dont think the hood gansta,( or for that matter even anyone from the getto) would be a good addition to the game...unless... we get a hypno-beam and make rondel think he is a gangster...BRILLANT IDEA!

*runs off yelling "Euriko...erm... i mean Eurika!"*

[lordisgo]

C: Farmboy Will
W: Bad behavior
L: 10
D: The admins throw you a party after you deal the killing blow

C: Angry Trees
W: Pointy branches
L: 8
D: You decide never use paper again

C: Cerebus
W: Three flaming heads
L: 15
D: Torched it

C: Bobcat
W: Sharp claws
L: 4
D: You wonder how Cedrik catches them

C: King Arther
W: Excaliber
L: 15
D: You take his crown and act as if nothing ever happen

Most just came to me , hehe

[Dreadlord]

Cashier
Odd Money
2
Keep the change!!
:?

[whitecrow]

C: Pop Music DJ
W: Annoying Replays
L: 5
D: Spin that!

C: Giant Lizard From Tokyo
W: Radation Breath
L: 10
D: Next up, you're after that giant Moth!

C: Lady Godiva
W: Embarressment!
L: 4
D: You cover her up from the cold.

C: Bad Mathemetician
W: Equations That Confuse You!
L: 6
D: It just doesn't add up.

[Kroz]

Here's one if it isn't already used.

C:A Crazed Agent
W:Millions of Clones
L:15
D:That wasn't the real smith

[Sword]

C: Dubya
W: US Marine Corps
L: 1
D: I told you he had weapons of mass destruction!

[Maugrim_The_Reaper]

C: Furious Leprechaun
W: Shattered Goldpot
L: 4
D: Should have stayed on the other side of that rainbow!

C: Ancient Druid
W: Muttered Enchantments
L: 4
D: It's not half safe outside Stonehenge...

C: Republican Candidate
W: Rolled up intelligence reports
L: 1
D: You would have done better with a rolled up newspaper...

C: Rabid Weasel
W: Many nibbles
L: 1
D: Toes one, weasel nil.

C: Fallen Angel
W: False Promises
L: 14
D: Those lies finally caught up to you!

C: Enraged Mutant Humanoid
W: Genetic Aberations
L: 4
D: I wonder if he came from Plutonium Peak?

C: Boy Wonder
W: Repetitive Catchphrase
L: 4
D: That was one "Holy Popcorn!" too many.

I think I'll quit now...:)

[sativ]

a counter part to the lotgd.com server

(don't take it too seriously. ^^)

c: g.w.bush
w: ridiculous wars
l: 5
d: he was an intelligent man... he could read books upside down...

[Iscariot]

Name: Newbie Player
Weapon: Confused stare
Level: 1
Death message: He must have logged in on the wrong Log-In screen...

N: Sadistic Dentist
W: Large Drill
L: 5-7?
D: Look ma, no fillings!

N: The President
W: Large scale invasion
L: 10
D: He was right, you had a weapon of mass destruction.

N: Drunk driver
W: Beaten up sedan
L: 4
D: Don't drink and drive.

N: Friendly Senior Citizen
W: Shopping bag
L: 11
D: Now, why did you have to do that?

N: The Red Dragon!
W: Fire breathing
L: 16
D: ...eh... are you colorblind?

N: Well-Tanned Vampire
W:Smell of garlic
L:2
D: Hmm..that didn't seem right?

[gandalf]

Minotaur
Hooves
Ha at least youre not in a maze!
5

[gandalf]

Mr.T
Jibber Jabber
3
i pity the foo'

[gandalf]

snowman
ice bombs
2
im so warm with pride i'm melting

[Sailok]

The Muffin Man
Muffins
5
You don't think you knew this muffin man, this muffin man, this muffin man who lived on drury lane.

Traveling Salesman
Big bag of random junk
7
He didn't have any good merchandise, anyway

Eensy Weensy Spider
Nonstop climbing
1
Good thing it started to rain.

Annoying Preschooler
The song that never ends
4
Great. Now that song is stuck in your head.

Fire Elemental
Big 'ol flames
10
You roast some marshmallows before it burns out completely and are on your way.

Water Elemental
Torrents of water
10
Just in time. You were feeling a little thirsty.

Earth Elemental
Lumps of mud
10
Now to find a water elemental to get this mud off yourself.

[Syrius]

SaucyWench
Hot Wings!
14-15?
What was the question, again?

[BLOODDRAGON]

SaucyWench
Hot Wings!
14-15?
What was the question, again?

I think Saucy is already a creature in the forest...

[JCP]

SaucyWench
Hot Wings!
14-15?
What was the question, again?

I think Saucy is already a creature in the forest...

Yes, and "hotwings" is an inside joke at my expense, not Saucy's. :)

(And I'm already in the forest as well...)

[Syrius]

SaucyWench
Hot Wings!
14-15?
What was the question, again?

I think Saucy is already a creature in the forest...

Yes, and "hotwings" is an inside joke at my expense, not Saucy's. :)

(And I'm already in the forest as well...)

BD, yes, I know she is.

JCP, I didn't know it was at your expense, want to share the joke? :wink:

(PS. Yes, I know you are.) :)

[The Lady Dannon]

You have encountered SMORES,
which lunges at you with MARSHMELLOW GOODNESS!

cant think of a good death line :evil:

[Syrius]

?
You stumble away from the treat, giddy from the mountain of sugar consumed.

[God Valxirion]

You have encountered SaucyWench which lunges at you with Bingo Marker of DOOM!

Level: 8

B17? did someone say B17? Argh..........

[Acemaster]

You have encountered McD who lunges at you with Hundreds of Dragon Heads!
level 15
As he takes his last breath, he erases your memory. No one can ever defeat McD!

[Sailok]

70's dude
Giant afro of DOOM
7
You claw your way out of his groovy hairdo and are on your way.

Backwards man
Reversing time
3
You draw your sword, and realize that this fight was over before it even began.

Insane little robot
The doom song
10
You hear it mention something about tacos before it falls.

[The Lady Dannon]

the filter
family friendliness
you dodged the ban stick this time but will you be so luck next trip

[Kaiun]

70's dude
Giant afro of DOOM
7
You claw your way out of his groovy hairdo and are on your way.

Are you trying to insult me? :cry: Some people still have afros you know...

(And I'm already in the forest as well...)

darn, I was going to submit you with "world domination" as your weapon :D

[onedarkdemon1]

heres one I just came up with and I like it

name:presidential candidate
wepon:lunges at you with big lies
level:9
death message:well he may have lied but your still voting for him

[Kaiun]

name: someone
weapon: something
death message: You think he could have been a little more specific...
level: dosen't matter

[muad]

name: Flo
weapon: wrong order
message: Well kiss my grits
level: 2

[Kaiun]

name: Benjamin Franklin
weapon: quoting
death msg: "An early bird who is early to rise is stinky, sweaty, and in disguise"...or something along those lines.
level: 10-12

name: Bigfoot
weapon: a big foot
death msg: the reporters wouldn't have believed you anyway.
level: 10-12

[onedarkdemon1]

name:dial-up internet
wepon:boredom
defeat message:it hasnt finished dying yet
level:7

[muad]

name: Mr. Whipple
weapon: squeezably soft tissue
message: I told you not to squeeze that
level: 3

[muad]

name: The Great Guidance
weapon: Ro-Man
message: Diving helmet, monkey suit .... yeah, that makes sense
level: matters not

[Nightwind]

@Modest Mungo
with
picked nits

"how many nits could a modest mungo pick, if mungo could pick nits?"

[Sir Quady]

Here are a bunch of suggestions:

Name: Your Evil Twin
Weapon: Devilish Similarities
Death Taunt: It appears that the better half has survived.
Level: 12

Name: The 60s
Weapon: Hippies!
Death Taunt: Finally, Somone killed the 60s!
Level: 8

Name: France
Weapon: Pointy monument
Death Taunt: Il est mort.
Level: 9

Name: Mud Puddle
Weapon: Dirtyness
Death Taunt: Ewww! It splashed all over you!
Level: 3

Name: Snail
Weapon: Slowness
Death Taunt: Well, that was one quick fight.
Level: 1

Name: Fresh Vegetables
Weapon: Healthiness
Death Taunt: Don't worry, they're good for you.
Level: 5

Name: Programming Error
Weapon: Command fault in line 577
Death Taunt: That should fix some bugs!
Level: 11

Name: ROUS
Weapon: Snarling and biting
Death Taunt: Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist.
Level: 7

Name: Constantinople
Weapon: Dissapearing
Death Taunt: Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople!
Level: 5

Name: Emoticon
Weapon: Smileyness
Death Taunt: : ) became : (
Level: 4

Name: Evil Emoticon
Weapon: UnSmileyness
Death Taunt: You killed a colon and a bracket! : (
Level: 6

Name: Starfleet Captain in his underwear
Weapon: Rudie Nudies
Death Taunt: Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!
Level: 8

Name: Padawan
Weapon: Beginner's Force
Death Taunt: The Force wasn't strong enough in this one.
Level: 7

Name: The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota
Weapon: Oddness
Death Taunt: This spectacularly strange monument has been destroyed
Level: 9

Name: Twinkie Weiner Sandwitch
Weapon: Telekinetic Disgusting Food Power
Death Taunt: Cut a twinkie in half, add a weiner, smother it in cheese wizz, and there you go.
Level: 5

Name: The Sun
Weapon: Millions of Degrees
Death Taunt: Doesn't it seem dark out?
Level: 14

Name: Cyclops's Contact Lens
Weapon: Concaveness or Convexness
Death Taunt: Poor Cyclops won't be able to see anymore
Level: 11

[Sir Quady]

In honour of recent events, i give you:

Name: Clock Thief Gnome
Attack: Minute hand
Death Taunt: Now maybe the Degolburg clock will start working again!
Level: 8

Also, here are a bunch more:

N: Bumbling Detectives
A: Cluelessness
DT: To be precise, you've defeated some Bumbling Detectives.
L: 4

N: A Trick or Treater in a Green Dragon Costume
A: A bucket full of candy
DT: Mmmm, <Twixes> -BD :wink: .
L: 7

N: A Lightbulb
A: Blinding Brightness
DT: It was rather dim of it to get killed like that.
L: 5

N: A Whack-a-Mole Machine
A: Pop up, pop down, pop up, pop down.
DT: Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack the little rodents!
L: 9

[carthridge7]

Name: Bill Gates
Weapon: Windows
Death Taunt: Wait untill I make a clone of Steve Jobs in my image.
Level: any

or

Name: Microsoft
Weapon: Meaningless Lawsuits
Death Taunt: Where's the money?
Level: 15

[Sir Quady]

Oh how about this?

Name: Windows
Weapon: Blue Screen of Death
Taunt: Windows just crashed all over the place
Level: 10

[Pwyll]

Name: Windows XP
Weapon: Service Pack 2
DT: You still have malware on your PC
Level: 12

Of course, we'll never see any of these because of the risk of litigation from Microsoft...

[Sir Quady]

Ok, how about this

Name: Bad Operating System
Attack: CRASH!
Taunt: Maybe you should switch to a different OS?
Level: 12

[Stufro]

Name: Uneven Paving Slab
Attack: Jutting Corners
Death Message: That's filled in a few cracks
Level: 5

I've been nearly hurt three times today by badly paved walkways, I consider them a formiddable foe...

[Pwyll]

Name: British Bobby
Weapon: Nightstick
Death Message: What's all this then?
Level: 8

[Sir Quady]

What exactly is a British Bobby?

And to keep things on topic:

Creature: A Pothole
Attack: Car wrecking
Taunt: Ahh, now maybe you can ride carriages between cities without loosing a wheel
Level: 6

[God Valxirion]

an English police officer in London I believe

[Sir Quady]

Ah, Makes sense at least.

[Kaiun]

Name: Ark and Kra
Attack: Symmetrical Attacks!
Death Message: If they had focused less on mirror-imaging each other and more on killing you, they might have stood a chance.
Level: dosen't matter

(Note that Ark and Kra are their counterpart's name backwards, contributing to the whole symmetry thing)

[Sir Quady]

N:Fit of Sneezes
A:Achoo! Achoo!
DT: Bless you.
L:3

[ThantosFive]

Name: Dave Matthew's Tour Bus
Attack: Unidentified Flying Object
Death Message:After taking a shower, you feel the urge to call a lawyer
Level: don't know

[Pwyll]

Name: Schoolyard Bully
Weapon: Noogies
Message: Nyah nyah!
Level: 6

[Balthus Dire]

Name: Dragon Watcher Officer Class
Weapon: Fancy Uniform
Death Message: Get down and give me 20!-ARRRGHHH!
Level: 14

[ScareCrow]

Name: Newbie
Weapon: Same annoying questions
Death Message: He should've read the FAQ
Level: 4

[White Knight]

Okay, just discovered this thread, so...

Creature: Space Marine
Weapon: BFG
Level: 10
Message: He was doomed from the start.

Creature: White Rabbit
Weapon: Pocket watch
Level: 3
Message: Now he's REALLY late!

[Funbobby]

I haven't read them all, so forgive if these are done already:

Name: Fat kid
Weapon: whining
Death Message: Why am I always the last on picked in gym class?
Level: 4

[Lanya]

I have some ideas, too. Please enjoy:

Summer
Sunshine
5
In the old days the weather was much better: all rain and storm


Snails on Speed
Fast Slime
6
Speedy Death


2984 Rats
Quantity
9
Squeek


Would-be Vampire
Fake Teeth
10
Booga Booga


Currywurst
Ketchup
11
Bloody Mess


Huge Bacillus
Tingle in the nose
11
Need a handkerchief?


Pinata
Wish to get beat
12
Candy!


Wereturtle
Slow Reactions
12
It's not moving, no difference to a living one though


Unbelievable Horror
Unspeakable Terror
13
Unthinkable shock


Angry Duck
Big Beak
14
Tonight I will have a Featherbed


Drunken Golem
Bad Breath
14
A pile of alcoholic stones, perhaps dwarves would like them.


Pit Bull
Sharp Teeth
14
A Pitty


Evil Halfling of Slaying
Invisibility
15
So small and already evil to the bone.


Selfmade Monster
Three Wings and a Sneeze
15
Why three wings? It's impossible to fly with them!


Sorry for bad english and such. I hope at least some are funny for all :)

[White Knight]

Here are some more I cam up with today. The first four likely won't make much sense to anyone who hasn't encountered the British school system, but the rest are pretty much universal.

Encounter: Primary School Teacher
Weapon: Early Morning Cheer
Level: 1
Message: Very good! Now you can progress to Secondary School.

Encounter: Secondary School Teacher
Weapon: Detention
Level: 5
Message: Smartly done, but you'd best stay alert!

Encounter: Headmaster
Weapon: Ruler
Level: 10
Message: Right, then! Off to Finishing School with you!

Encounter: Crochety Professor
Weapon: Biting Sarcasm
Level: 15
Message: Now you can sleep through his lectures unimpeded.

Encounter: John and Jane
Weapon: Spot
Level: 3
Message: See Spot die! Die, Spot, die!

Encounter: Magic Mirror
Weapon: Your Reflection
Level: 10
Message: Is it homicide, or suicide?

Encounter: Ensign Ricky
Weapon: Energy Pistol
Level: 2
Message: He's dead, Jim!

[Balthus Dire]

Or howsa about...

Name: Hallucinations
Weapon: Pretty Colours
Death Message: You turned him black and blue, or is sit purple and white?
Level: 5

Name: Sadistic Gym Teacher
Attack: 400 laps
Death Message: You gave him fifty...hits.
Level: 14

Name: Sadistic Home Room Teacher
Attack: 9 projects due tomorrow
Death Message: And I now want an essay on why you should be nice to your teachers and not hurt them!
Level: 13

Name: Old Man
Attack: Stones Game
Death Message: He lost the death bet.
Level: 12

Name: Old Man
Attack: Dice Game
Death Message: He lost the death bet.
Level: 12

Name: Old Man
Attack: Sixes Game
Death Message: He lost the death bet.
Level: 12

[ScareCrow]

Name: Jared
Weapon: Oversized Pants
Death Message: You leave muttering " Subway *stinks* "
Level: 6

Name: ManSlayer
Weapon: Blood Thirst
Death Message: You find yourself filled my pride
Level: 10

Name: Scarecrow
Weapon: repetitive questions
Death Message: Still No.
Level: 15

Name: Chicken
Weapon: Beak
Death Message: Where's the Beef?
Level: 2

Name: Mana Master
Weapon: Lighting Aura
Death Message: Where's Golinda?
Level: 14

Name: Lost Memories
Weapon: Now I Remember
Death Message: That's how I got that "curious" scar
Level: 7

*notes that we like our benovlent leader and prefer this version to the previous insulting one*

[Nightwind]

harrased moderator
repeted answer
16
There are FOUR lights.

[Balthus Dire]

N: Energizer Bunny
W: Batteries
L: 9
DS: It looks as if he COULDN'T keep on going.

[Balthus Dire]

Ex-Girlfriend
Slapping
15
You broke her up, literally.

[onedarkdemon1]

cute puppy
puppy eyes
level 1
ha it couldnt trick you you INVENTED that trick

[Marcus]

Incompetent Alien Invader
Screaming Temporal Doom
Curse you, snacks! Currrrrrrse yooooooou!
10

Diminutive Robot in Dog Suit
Piggies
WHY, my piggy? WHY? I love-ed you piggy! I love-ed yoo-hoo-hoo!
5

Stocks
Unsuspecting Farmies
Gotcha, sucker!
1

Curious Looking Rock
Mystery
Good things come to those who wait
4

Gardens Junkie
Tragic Past
Now you'll never find out if the ancient prophesy about the cat-demons coming to kill everyone he loved and spitting in his sandwich will come true...
7

EDIT:

Linux
Incompatibility
You just kicked some serious OS
3

EDIT AGAIN:

The Thnikkaman
Yeah, shut up, kid!
There goes the Thnikkamaaaaaaaaan!
8

Uber-Powerful Farmie Villain
Evil Smirk
You put down this menace to society, resigning yourself to the fact that another one will pop up within a week.
15

[FatalOblivion]

Wicked Witch of the West
Horde of Flying Monkeys
After listening to her big musical finale, you see the "Wicked" witch in a new light.
6

[Stank]

As an Admin on another server, I have been privaledged with the ability of actually creating forest monsters. Thus far I've created about a hundred (no joke). Here are my favorites on every level:

1. A gnat lunges at you with annoyance!
You take a deep breath to calm yourself. Suddenly the gnat is gone and you fear for the safety of your internal organs.

2a. An Old Beggar Thesbian lunges at you with lengthy Shakespearean Dialogue!
Now it the winter of your SHUT THE HECK UP!

2b. The Level One Menace lunges at you with Level 2 Weaponry!
I think we know who the real menace around here is.

3. A Pride of Sphinxes with Numerous Riddles!
Who would've guessed the answer to every riddle was violence?

4. Pikachu with a limited vocabulary!
Funny thing about Pokemon... They can't beg for mercy.

5. Meat with rotting goodness!
You like your food with experience

6. Two Knights with a femur fight!
It's always good to kill to Sirs with one bone.

7a. The Riddle Gnome with a big honkin' club!
Guess you knew the answer to that one...

7b. Brenden with Horrendous Grammar!
See, this is why we put up the Brenden Blocker. (my admin friends will get that)

8. A giraffe with a flailing neck!
That was quite possibly the most disturbing thing you've ever seen charge at you.

9a. A Two-Headed Giraffe with two flailing heads!
Correction. THAT is the most disturbing thing you've ever seen charging at you.

9b. Slug with slime!
You boot that creature back to level 1, were it belongs.

10a. A bucket with an entrapping opening
After a heoric fight for the ages you finally remove the bucket from your foot.

10b. Donald Trumps Hairdoo with combover madness!
It's horrible... so very horrible... Hair gell litters the ground... The horror! The HORROR!

11a. Girl Scout with A Humongous Scottish Claymore!
That wasn't a cookie at all...

11b. a Tree Falling in the Forest with a horrible wailing noise!
Congradulations! You got an answer to an age-old question AND internal brain bruising!

12. Legend of the Red Dragon with legal action!
You point it in the direction of lotgd.com and dodge another lawsuit.

13a. Holy Cow with Benevolent Udders of Peace!
You feel horrible for killing something so bovine.

13b. Spiny Spleen Sucker with sucking!
Luckily your spleen is smooth.

14. a cute wittle psychokenetic kitty with big kitty eyes.
You barely manage to break away from its mind-liquifying stare.

15a. The Rod of Goblin Summoning with hordes of summoned goblins!
You put the lid back on the rod and put it in your pocket, thinking it may be useful at a future party.

15b. a Mountain with falling!
Well at least TWO mountains didn't fall on you.

16a. Yourself with your weapon.
What a loser you are.

16b. Two Mountains with falling!
Well... at least there weren't THREE mountains...

[Bluefire]

creature- Stank the magic skunk
weapon- longlasting odor
level- 12
death thingy- Skunk-chops for all!

[Skaak]

Because I love Discworld:

Name: Naive Tourist
Weapon: Ravenous Luggage
Message: Luggage really shouldn't have that many legs.
Level: whichever; arbitrarily, 9

Name: Invisible Dragon
Weapon: Invisible Fire
Message: You stopped believing, it stopped existing.
Level: doesn't matter; arbitrarily, 12

Name: Frightened Wizard
Weapon: Fleeing
Message: He should have run faster.
Level: Meh; 5

Name: Dungeon Dimension Denizen
Weapon: Mind-boggling Horror
Message: As the beast dissolves, you hear a horrible chittering.
Level: Hmmm, 7

Because it's a fantasy cliche:

Name: Basement Full of Rats
Weapon: Little Ratty Claws
Message: As you defeat the rats, you feel your experience rising...
Level: 1

:)

[Stank]

creature- Stank the magic skunk
weapon- longlasting odor
level- 12
death thingy- Skunk-chops for all!

Uhm... I don't think that's the best forest monster, per say... maybe killing an Atrus trying to eat me is better! I like that one! ^^

[Bluefire]

creature- Stank the magic skunk
weapon- longlasting odor
level- 12
death thingy- Skunk-chops for all!

Uhm... I don't think that's the best forest monster, per say... maybe killing an Atrus trying to eat me is better! I like that one! ^^

creature- Atrus
weapon- disgusting Stank eating
level- 10
death thingy- Alas, it is too late to save the magic skunk.

[Stank]

I like it, except for the 'me dying' part.

[Bluefire]

*grins* I think it's good.

[YurianStonebow]

It should be changed to "Now where's Atrus with the grill when you need 'em?"

[Stank]

Creature: Harassed Stank
with: assaults from Atrus, Bluefire, Yurian...
message: ...Knuckles, Lostsoul, Angul, ZackJackson, The Q, Vader, a group of girl scouts, the IRS...

[YurianStonebow]

With that kind of a tagline, Stank, it should be a level 16 Thrillseek. Now we need to come up with some level 17 Suicidal Search monsters. :twisted:

[Bluefire]

Creature: Harassed Stank
with: assaults from Atrus, Bluefire, Yurian...
message: ...Knuckles, Lostsoul, Angul, ZackJackson, The Q, Vader, a group of girl scouts, the IRS...

*giggles*

[jrminga]

With that kind of a tagline, Stank, it should be a level 16 Thrillseek. Now we need to come up with some level 17 Suicidal Search monsters.
there is a level 17 monster, and it's one of my favorites. keep an eye out for it.

[Nightwind]

Lets be a little more specific. SUicide thrillseek does not automatically add 2 levels to a level 15 encounter. That level adds only one, but adds a larger then normal bonus to compensate.

So wile you can encounter level 17's, your odds are not better then a normal thrillseek, and quite a bit more dangerous

[Marcus]

Not actually suggesting this, as it's already been implemented, but...

You have encountered Farmgirl dying which lunges at you with Eternal Dragon-Avoidance!
15
You realize that you have just reinforced the truth of her name.


Best...beastie...ever.

[ChattyTrog]

I've always found level 17 monsters to be less than ideal. Fairly worthless.

I agree Marcus. One of my personal favorites.

[Stank]

Ugh... those monsters at level 17. They're so tough that if you try to add to or alter them in the Superuser Grotto they'll crash the whole system! Now THAT's an evil monster.

[Aidan]

Name: Lawyer
Weapon: Annoying Applications
Death message: Just fill out this form and I'll free all charges against you!
Level:6

[SaucyWench]

Not actually suggesting this, as it's already been implemented, but...

You have encountered Farmgirl dying which lunges at you with Eternal Dragon-Avoidance!
15
You realize that you have just reinforced the truth of her name.


Best...beastie...ever.
Why, thank you ;)

[SaucyWench]

Ugh... those monsters at level 17. They're so tough that if you try to add to or alter them in the Superuser Grotto they'll crash the whole system! Now THAT's an evil monster.
They do?

:shock:

I've never had a problem there. Can you stick that in the Admin Support area please?

[Moonchilde]

Ugh... those monsters at level 17. They're so tough that if you try to add to or alter them in the Superuser Grotto they'll crash the whole system! Now THAT's an evil monster.
They do?

:shock:

I've never had a problem there. Can you stick that in the Admin Support area please?

I *think* stank was being sarcastic here Saucy :) Since as far as I know there has been only one bug reported with editing creatures and while it was annoying, it didn't crash the game. (it's also been fixed in the CVS code) :)

[Furion]

:*thinks* not (didn't interpret it that way), but is sure Stank will let you know what is going on. :D

[Stank]

Huh? Explanation? You know, most of the time I can not even explain my actions...

But really, my point was sorta serious. It didn't fully crash the server, but it did glitch up the thing for a few minutes. I didn't know the technical term for what happened, but whatever Moonchilde said sounds like it. ^^ Plus the server that particular game is running off of isn't the best of servers and tends to crash with the slightest problem. And yes, having more than 4 people logged in at one time is considered a problem.

And I don't think it is a serious enough problem to stick in admin support. It was really our own fault for not knowing where to and where not to meddle. There's a reason there's a certain amount of monsters at those levels, I suppose. ^^

[Furion]

Moonchilde (or other coder), did you guys manage to fix the game settings bug for zero hour (1.0.3 release?)?

[Sichae-Saracen]

Yes, they had managed to put in a few safeguards and some code edits to clear up the game settings bug. :)

[Bluefire]

creature:Pirate's singing
weapon:Yo-ho
level:12
death thingy:... and reallly bad eggs

[Decius]

Not sure how closely this skirts copyright law:

c: An MIT graduate
w: Crowbar
l: 7
m: You hear a womans voice calmly stating "User death immenient"

c: Space marine
w: An entire arsenal of firearms
l: 8
m: For some reason, you feel that Hell holds no suprises for this man.

[Bluefire]

creature: Atrus
weapon: bad puns
level: 8
death thingy: At last, he finally stopped.

[Acemaster]

I thought Atrus made bad riddles, not puns. :lol:

Just joking. They always stump me.

[YurianStonebow]

C: Telephone Customer Service Agent
W: Long Holding Time
L: 5
M: Now you want to speak to his supervisor!

C: Telephone Customer Service Supervisor
W: Reassuring Tactics
L: 15
M: They'll never transfer you to someone else ever again!

[Fionnabhair]

C: "Charitable Organization" Telemarketer
W: Awww...
L: 3
M: Click!

[fraser]

Not sure if this would avoid copyright laws:

C: 70's Hard Rock Band
W: Overly-Long Solos
L: 7
D: Now they're climbing the Stairway to Heaven!



C: 60's Rock Band
W: Far-Out Melodies
L:6
D: Woah, bad trip!

[onedarkdemon1]

C:soda salesman
W:annoying calls at dinner
L:9
death line:he already won because your dinner is cold

[Snoopymcc]

Creature: Dial-up connection

Weapon: You have been disconnected

Level: 4

Message: Sorry for the inconvenience

Better Message: You have been slain while disconnected!


( I have experienced this one too many times and to kill it...Oh the Joy!)

[Fionnabhair]

C: Escalator
W: Moving stairs
L: 3
M: Escalator broken. Sorry for the convenience!

[Stank]

It's great! Escalators never break, they just become stairs!

Oh, that doesn't add to this forum at all... Quick Stank, quick, think of a monster!

Uhm...

I already put myself up as a monster, didn't I? >.<

A banana peel attacks you with a slippery surface!
It once again proves you are your own worse enemy. Well, you and that darn banana peel.

Degolburg Maintance Worker lunges at you with rubble cleaning equipment!
Well it wouldn't be a problem if you stopped blowing up the old statues! Storage, people, storage!

[Angul]

Creature: Harassed Stank
with: assaults from Atrus, Bluefire, Yurian...
message: ...Knuckles, Lostsoul, Angul, ZackJackson, The Q, Vader, a group of girl scouts, the IRS...


I've never harrassed you...now get back to drawing *cracks the whip*

[Afgncaap5]

I almost wish there was some sort of master list so that I could be sure of not repeating anything....

Creature: Sisyphus
Weapon: Uphill Battle
Level: 11 (though maybe Undead would be better)
Message: You narrowly miss being crushed by the giant boulder as it rolls back down.

Creature: Tantalus
Weapon: Eternal Hunger!
Level: 9
Message: Poor guy just snapped when you tried to have a picnic.

Creature: Tough Crowd
Weapon: Rotten Tomatoes
Level: 6
Message: Boy, are your arms tired...

Creature: Maze
Weapon: Twisty little passages, all alike
Level: 3
Message: Well, wasn't that an adventure? *Rimshot*

...And for another vague reference that no one'll get (but would still work here)...

Creature: Lean and Hungry Gentleman
Weapon: Stilletto
Level: 13
Message: You try to steal the stilletto, but it grows white hot when you touch it!

[Stank]

Creature: Angul
Weapon: Whip cracking!
Message: They say great art is born out of struggle. If that's true, you've just drawn a masterpiece.


I was going to make the weapon 'Confusing Name Pronunciation', but I've gone through enough pain today...

[YurianStonebow]

C: Harrassed Stank
W: Enduring Martyrdom
L: Meh, whatever...
M: You know, he can't be a martyr if he's still alive. And you just fixed that. Permanently.

You know we love you, Stank, in all your wildly varied incarnations. :wink:

[Jack Rossini]

Creature:Goa'uld
Weapon: Annoying cliches
Level: 3
Message: Earth is safe once again.
or That wasn't so hard, so why is there a show about it?

[Stank]

C: Harrassed Stank
W: Enduring Martyrdom
L: Meh, whatever...
M: You know, he can't be a martyr if he's still alive. And you just fixed that. Permanently.

Yeah Yurian? What's that supposed to mean?! I mean, there are so many definitions for martyr, and all of them fit, except maybe that first one:

mar·tyr

mar·tyr [mrtər]
n (plural mar·tyrs)
1. somebody put to death: somebody who chooses to die rather than deny religious or political beliefs
2. somebody who makes sacrifices: somebody who makes sacrifices or suffers greatly in order to advance a cause or principle
3. somebody in pain: somebody who experiences frequent or constant pain as a result of something
4. somebody seeking attention: somebody who complains a great deal in order to get sympathy from others

In any way, if I must make the sacrifice of dying daily in the forest to further other players in their struggles, then so be it. Maybe someone will take pity on my constant pain and run from me instead of fight, furthering my pacifistic beliefs. And if that makes, me a martyr, Yurian, then so be it! At least I'd be in the forest. :P

C: Yurian Stonebrow
W: Being a big mean meanyface
L: Some number...
M: Stank has now been avenged. To bad you killed him before he saw this.

And what incarnations do you speak of? Have I not always been a skunk... potato farmer... pyrokenetic weasel... Oh nevermind.

[YurianStonebow]

You wouldn't happened to have been a demonic sheepherder in a past life, would you? I still owe the guy for messing around with my portable miniature quantum singularity, back when I still had it... 8)

[Jack Rossini]

C: Big Brother
W: Telescreen
L: 10
M:Big Brother is watching you no more.

[Stank]

Oh yeah, the Sheep Herder! I remember that character! He was fun, always juggling shee- I mean no, I was never a demonic sheep herder in any of my past incarnations.

[Afgncaap5]

I couldn't think of a good weapon for a monster idea, so I diversified and, well....kinda lost control. Here's the results!

C: Apprentice Jester
W: Poor Rhyming Skills
L: 1
M: Having looted his gold and silver, you may now go buy a...quiver?

C: Red Jester
W: Pratfalls
L: 2
M: Almost looked like he was TRYING to lose.

C: Orange Jester
W: Punch And Judy Puppets
L: 3
M: He might have been victorious if his puppets hadn't been fighting each other.

C: Yellow Jester
W: Forgotten Punchline
L: 4
M: He still won't tell you why the fly was in the customer's soup.

C: Green Jester
W: Sword Juggling Skills
L: 5
M: Beating him was easy. Dodging all the swords that fell when he stopped juggling was the hard part.

C: Blue Jester
W: Exploding Whoopee Cushion
L: 6
M: You're not claiming responsibility for THIS one...

C: Indigo Jester
W: Unpredictable Dancing
L: 7
M: Once more, with feeling!

C: Purple Jester
W: Poor Timing
L: 8
M: "Because it's fly soup?" What? You don't get it...

C: Rainbow Jester
W: Sleight Of Hand
L: 9
M: Good thing you killed him before he escaped. You find your gold among his possessions!

C: White Jester
W: Mad Cackle
L: 10
M: Oh, wait, that wasn't his jester outfit...that was his straight jacket!

C: Arch Jester
W: Courtroom Espionage
L: 11
M: To think he might have been king...

C: Lord Jester
W: Hypnotizing Swirls
L: 12
M: You nearly succumb to his insanity.

C: Master Jester
W: Unpredictable Powers
L: 13
M: Funny how he can warp time and space, and just uses it to tie your shoelaces together.

C: Jester King
W: Comedy Court
L: 14
M: With his hypnotic spells dispelled, you need to explain to the courtiers just why they're all wearing clown makeup.

C: Jester Sage
W: The Most Hilarious Joke Book Ever
L: 15
M: You burn the forbidden tome before you die of laughter.

C: Jester God
W: Banana Cream Pie
L: 16
M: When you come right down to it, the classics really are the best.

[Crowley]

Hah! Awesome!

[onedarkdemon1]

name:jester god slayer or, invisable jester,)
level:17
wepon:invisable trick or,banana cream pie eater
message:you never saw him coming or, good thing you had no banana cream pies just chocolate cream pies

[Afgncaap5]

Creature: Priceless Ming Vase
Weapon: Ludicrously thin pedestal
Level: 1
Message: Quick, find some glue...

[YurianStonebow]

That is cute, Afgncaap5. :D

C: Badly Costumed Criminal
W: Big Dog In Disguise
L: Whatever floats your boat, really...
M: And he'd have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for you, you meddling kid!

[Afgncaap5]

Thank you. Wish I had something to follow it with, though...

[Crowley]

Well you could start off with

Chipped teacup level 1,
Cracked teapot level 3,
Poor reproduction delph pot level 5,
Mass-producted teaset level 7,
Wedgewood crockery level 9,
Pristine dinner service level 11,
Priceless Ming vase level 13,
Faberge Egg level 15

[Stank]

C: Oompa Loompas
W: Elaborate Song and Dance Routines!
L: Whatever number you want, as long as it's 5
M: Okay, now that was just creepy.

C: Pinata
W: Harmless Dangling from a Tree
L: 4^1/2-1
M: A pinata that is full of experience, NOT candy?! These woods ARE evil!

C: Insane Naked Man
W: Non-Family Friendly Garb!
L: 10
M: You got gold for that? But where was he keeping it... Nevermind. Just move on.

[Bluefire]

C: Oompa Loompas
W: Elaborate Song and Dance Routines!
L: Whatever number you want, as long as it's 5
M: Okay, now that was just creepy.

C: Pinata
W: Harmless Dangling from a Tree
L: 4^1/2-1
M: A pinata that is full of experience, NOT candy?! These woods ARE evil!

C: Insane Naked Man
W: Non-Family Friendly Garb!
L: 10
M: You got gold for that? But where was he keeping it... Nevermind. Just move on.

*laughs* Enjoyable...

C: Stank
W: Continual Needing to Yell At Others
L: Schwhatever
M: His voice was hoarse, but at least he shut up.

[Furion]

:hasn't known Stank to do that, to say the least.

[Afgncaap5]

C: Irresistable Force
W: Immovable Object
L: 15
M: Just...don't ask. Please. Not worth it.

[Nightwind]

two theories on that


Either they are mutally exclusive and both cannot exist in the same universe, so that whatever one is trully the limiteless one defines the universe ti's in...

OR, the irresitable force will reflect off the imovable object

[Stank]

two theories on that


Either they are mutally exclusive and both cannot exist in the same universe, so that whatever one is trully the limiteless one defines the universe ti's in...

OR, the irresitable force will reflect off the imovable object

Yeah, what he said.


C:Nightwind
W:Knowledge of Planar Physics
L:You know, the level with the most physics. Yeah...
M:Never take a fat brain to a knife fight.

Though that may be too graphic. Perhaps a physics book to a forest fight?

[Nightwind]

*swings book with two hands, breaks hand with knife*

brains win again *winks*

[darkside]

C: mother
W: odd logic
L: 1
M: "shut your mouth and eat your supper"

C: Darkside's cat, Tigger
W: Staying out all night
L: 2
M: you lock the doors before she escapes for the night

C: Girlfriend
W: expensive nights out
L: 3
M: £40 for a meal for two!!

C: broken camera
W: blurred photo's
L: 4
M: you buy a new digital camera

C: antiques dealer
W: stupid phrases
L: 5
M: but chips aren't cheap...

C: 50th birthday
W: Denial
L: 6
M: 18 with 32 years experience

C: D+D addiction
W: no girlfriend
L: 7
M: *sings* virgins till we die... (alternatively: the level 32 wizard has sunk to a meer level 12)

C: sticky bubblegum
W: stuck to bench
L: 8
M: you wipe the mess off your rear and continue your journey

C: foamy the squirrel
W: starshmucks swill
L: 9
M: "vente... VENTE... STUPID!!"

C: word filter
W: @$*&"
L: 10
M: you @£$"&% him over good.

my brain's siezed up now...

[SaucyWench]

I just added a pile. Next time I am feeling idle I may add more. I am deleting posts as I go, so that I know what has been added.

As as already been asked (and ignored) please don't include references to copyrighted works. The chances I will add those are slim. That means, all your very amusing ones about tawt I taw a puddy tat, needing a towel and the number 42, jokes about mousketeers and so on, I have to weigh carefully (we aren't rich enough to defend being sued).

[Atrus]

Creature:Smelly skunk
Weapon:Foul Stench
L:3
Message:Mmm..tasty..

[Stank]

Some monsters were added?! Oh thank you Saucy! I'd hug you if I weren't so sure it would make you all smelly. Now if only I could remember what posts were here to figure out which monsters were made... It seems that alot of my posts are still here, which is not a good sign. x.x But hey, the more monsters, the better, no matter whose they are! Thanks again Saucy!

And Atrus, I've learned not to dignify your hunger with a response. It only leads to more pain...

[Afgncaap5]

Oh, I should keep my eyes open for those! Thanks for letting us know.

[K3NNY]

Name: ASCII artist
Weapon: -==][:::::::::::>
Death Message: You know, there are some little things called pixels nowadays...
Level: 5

[BlackFire]

C:Cafeteria Cook
W:Moldy Leftovers
L:8
D: You wonder what the gooey stuff was stupposed to be as you poke it with a stick, watching it crawl away.


C:BlackFire
W:(your choice)Phobia of Hampsters/Award-Winning Smoothies/The Need to Doodle Obsessively
L:6
D:(depending on which weapon)Once you held up a hampster, it was pretty easy to kill her/You search through her belongings, but cannot find one of her smoothies/You feel a certain emptiness knowing she'll never doodle again.

::smiggles:: Hehe, the last one was just sortof for fun - I love inside jokes :wink:

[BlackFire]

Wow...I just realized how old this thing is...

[Dentedhelm]

Creature: clown
Weapon: balloon sword
Death message:you're tired of clowning around
level:three

C: Farmboy WarlockMagic
W: being banned/continuis rule breaking
L: 15
D: He has been removed from the realm yet again/He not only harmed your hitpoints but the game as well

C: level 13
W: forever
L: 13
D: That was the longest time you ever spent on a level/You finally defeat level 13

C: cupid
W: love/ arrows/ love arrows
L: Doesn't matter
D: There's just one problem, I think I love you/ But you said your love was eternal/ you still feel love sick/ you now have a black heart/ you take one of his arrows and head toward violate

C:game glitch
W: unacceptableness
L: all levels
D: you petition it and the problem is solved quickly/you didn't even need a moderator/ Gold? wasn't I supposed to get lodge points?

[Zod]

name: FEMA Administrator
weapon: Incompetence
death message: Wow, are you dying? Maybe I can get back to you in, oh, five days.
level: 1

I don't get the level part. I mean, how am I supposed to know? Put it in whatever level you think is appropriate.

Too political? Put it in level 16 then. That way only crazy idiots like me who forget it is a bad idea to go suicidal at 14 will get to see it. Hehe.

[Valancy]

name: FEMA Administrator
weapon: Incompetence
death message: Wow, are you dying? Maybe I can get back to you in, oh, five days.
level: 1

I don't get the level part. I mean, how am I supposed to know? Put it in whatever level you think is appropriate.

Too political? Put it in level 16 then. That way only crazy idiots like me who forget it is a bad idea to go suicidal at 14 will get to see it. Hehe.

i wouldn't call it political exactly... i don't think it was FEMA's fault they didn't show up in N.O. for that long... :?

[Sergei]

Figured I'd add a suggestion or two:

N: Green Knight
W: His Own Head
DM: You deftly dodge the blow you dealt him.
Level: 15

N: Flay
W: Creaking Knees
DM: The sound gave him away.
Level: 6

N: Masters Thesis
W: Impending Deadline
DM: You learn to defend yourself well.
Level: 8

N: Henry Burlingame
W: An Eggplant
DM: Don't ask. Trust me.
Level: 7

[jrminga]

c: Time Clock
w: Constant Tardiness
d: Now that's the way to punch the clock!
l: 5. maybe 9.

[Marcus]

C: Love-struck teenager
W: Snogging
D: It took all the force you could muster to seperate his face from his girlfriend's.
L: 4

[Darcia]

c: Pet Rock
w: Silence
d: Your teacher gives you an "F" for your inability to love.
l: 5, maybe 9

[Acemaster]

W: Snogging

I think JK Rowling made up that word. :lol:

[Marcus]

Marcus wrote:

W: Snogging


I think JK Rowling made up that word.

I know, and it fits absolutely perfectly. Wouldn't you agree?

[jrminga]

W: Snogging

I think JK Rowling made up that word. :lol:
she didn't; it's british slang. we call it "making out".

[Iscariot]

c: Middel managment
w: Unpaid Overtime
l: 7
d: You've been fired...

c: Foul-mouthed seaman
w: Profanities
l: any
d: You're pretty sure $"@?§! isn't a real word.