Castle for Sale

[Zegmorien]

Zegmorien wakes up on a crisp early Spring morning and leaps up out of bed. He then stretches and makes his way to the window. With a quick manuver he pushes open the shutters and breathes in cool air. "Ahhhh... what a great d..." unable to finish his sentence a large Swallow crashes into his face.

He gives chase to the Swallow as it flaps around his room completely destroying small items on the shelves and pelts the floor with bird droppings! Finally he manages to chase it out to the window to rejoin the daily flock that flies around the castle and Zegmorien cries out, "Darn you bloody birds!!! Every freaking day! I open these bloody shutters and you think I'm keeping a pile of seeds from you stupid creatures!"

Zegmorien stumbles down the stairs from his master bedroom tower and makes his way through the great hall, he flies through to the kitchen and grabs a large knife and then makes his way back through the great hall and into the foyer. He throws open doors while wearing his nightclothes and calls out while brandishing his weapon, "Blast you infernal demons with your beady little eyes and insatiable lust to make my life a living heck!! Why wont you just fly off with a coconut you you..."

The birds answer this outburst by bombarding Zegmorien with a substantial amount of dung. A nearby squirrel gives it a 7.0.

"Okay!" Calls out Zegmorien, "I've had enough! This is it.. I've had it up to here and I can bear it no more. I've tried everything this past year and you buggers seem to own the place. Well Fine!"

He then makes his way to the tool shed and finds some wood, a hammer and a chisel and goes to work on a sign. Satisfied with the final configuration he makes his way back to the entrance of his dwelling, and plants it in the pathway without another word. He stalks back to the front door and slams it shut behind him.

The sign reads:
"Castle for Sale! Open House Today! Open to All, No Really! No Appointment Required!"

[Grim Jestor]

...as the day moves on, and the sun begins to rise high above the Eastern mountains, a dark figure can be seen approaching from far down the road, little more than a shadow in the early day. What a man, alone and on foot, could be doing out here so far from town is anyone's guess, but there is no one save the squirrels to think of such things. From the high trees they watch him, another intruder into their homelands, and a casual observer might almost think they are calling to each other in warning, like sentries upon far-flung watchtowers. Unheeding of the local wildlife, as far as squirrels and swallows go, the man draws nearer, and it becomes obvious that the only place he could possibly be heading is the old castle atop this great hill which he now climbs, slowly and tiredly, as if he has traveled far and this one last obstacle is almost too much. As he draws nearer he can be seen as a man of medium size, wearing a wide-brimmed hat which keeps his face in constant shadow, and a long traveler's cloak which may have once been blue, but stained and discolored from weather and age.

Finally arriving at the castle, the man seems to notice the sign for the first time, which reads Castle for Sale! among other things. He stops to look at the sign, and nodding approvingly continues on his way to the front door, to knock three times. His knocks echo hollowly within, like the beating of some giant bass drum, and he stands waiting, not noticing at all that there are squirrels looking at him from nearly every bush and tree. The land outside grows almost completely silent, except for some muffled swearing from within which brings a hint of mirth to the stranger's face.

[Zegmorien]

Zegmorien relaxes in the kitchen while stuffing his face with leftover blueberry muffins from the night before when suddenly he hears the thump of someone at the door. He runs out of the kitchen with his mouth still full of muffin and trips over a small suit of armor in the hallway. Mopping himself up off the floor he then staggers towards the door while choking on muffin tidbits.

Wrenching open the door Zegmorien proceeds to gag and cough up food particles all over the stranger's boots, nearly becoming a victim of a muffin smothering. He straightens himself out and looks over the newcomer and utters, "Oh jez.. sorry about that. Ahem.. how can I help you? Oh yeah! That's right.. open house. Come in, come in, and I'll show you around. I'll just leave this door open for everyone."

[Grim Jestor]

...the stranger stands silhouetted against the bright sky, and for a few seconds his face still cannot be seen, slowly coming into focus as he steps across the threshold into the entranceway, cool and dark. A strange hint of a breeze seems to come from somewhere within, and then another from outside, almost as if the door is an mouth, which the castle has opened to breathe. His eyes, deep-sunk and blue-gray, sparkle almost merrily, giving no hint of his seeming weariness as he climbed the hill, and his pale face wears an easy and somewhat disarming smile. "Good day to you, sir. The name's Simon, and I have come far this day," He gestures off vaguely behind him, but Zegmorien is not watching, having left his visitor, muffined boots and all, standing at the door. It's almost like he did not expect anyone to show up, Simon thinks to himself as he enters, or as if he knew of me long before my arrival... But such thoughts are banished from his mind as he catches his first glimpse of the great stone hallway in which he stands, and he gasps in amazement, "Why anyone would wish to sell such an amazing castle is beyond me, friend, but lead on!" And with that he follows Zegmorien down the hall toward a great doorway at the other end. Stairs leading both up and down can be seen through the door.

So enamored with the architecture is the newcomer that he does not notice two sly-looking squirrels sneak in through the door after him, and disappear into one of the many yawning side-doors in the passage...

[Zegmorien]

"Well met then Simon!" Zegmorien says as he notices the glimmer of excitement enter the stranger's eyes as he surveys the surroundings during the start of the tour.

"Well lets see.. the castle was built by someone quite famous ages ago, but I don't seem to remember their name at this time. Count something or other as I'm sure its buried in the abstract somewhere... A tome even the best attorney will have trouble muddling through.." he mutters under his breath and finishes, "Oh if these walls could talk."

Zegmorien leads Simon into the grand dining hall with cathedral ceiling and tapestries lining the walls with large ornate braziers in each corner of the room. Beneath the twenty foot long polished red mahogany dining table is an ornate woven floor covering depicting waring demon-like creatures. He notices Simon's pause over this detail and adds, "Everything you see comes with the place. I won't have room to take much with me when I leave. My uh, uncle helped with the decorating in some areas. Of course you will be at liberty to change anything as you see fit, if you would be interested in purchasing this humble dwelling.."

Notices a squirrel as it disappears into the kitchen and says, "Ah, perhaps I should show you the library next! This way.."

[Grim Jestor]

...as Simon follows Zegmorien, he is only vaguely listening to the commentary, but rather his eyes dart every which way at once. For some reason it seems to him that he has been here before, although he cannot remember why that is. Surely I have never even been to this part of the world, he thinks to himself, suddenly wondering what he is even doing here. He hears something about a book, and something inside his mind rings as if a bell had been struck. "Abstract, did you say? If it is in the library, I would certainly like to take a quick glance at it..." Not wanting to appear over-eager, Simon hastily adds, "As well as anything else you may have collected in what must be a fabulous library... I am an avid book collector myself, you see..." Knowing it sounds like a cover-up, Simon quits before he talks himself so far into a corner that he has to explain his interest, but after that he follows Zegmorien into the library, not even glancing at anything else the former points out, except for the amazingly intricate battle-scene on the dining-room floor. It briefly occurs to him to ask which side is winning, but thinks the better of it as the library door comes into view, huge and made of what must be solid oak, carved with many intricate designs and letters in an ancient language. A thought comes unbidden to Simon's mind at last, after all this searching, what I seek lies within... perplexed as to what such a thought could mean, he watches his host unlatch and open the great door.

From one dark corner to another, two hidden squirrels make what appears to be complicated and sophisticated signs to each other while watching the two humans go...

[Zegmorien]

Zegmorien walks into the library and pulls back a heavy red curtain covering floor to ceiling windows on the far end of the room. The light reveals this section to be two stories in height with books stretching from corner to corner.

Zegmorien waits for Simon to walk in and then begins, "The books here cover just about any subject imaginable. Personally, I never had the time to read most of them. In fact, I think merely pulling a few of these off of the shelves may just render them unto dust."

He then surveys the room and adds, "Ah yes, there is an underground vault with my uncles private collection of works. I can't remember for the life of me how to get down there but the trigger is in here somewhere. Oh well, probably full of water or empty anyway... those catacombs seem to go on forever. Perhaps we should move on upstairs?"

[Grim Jestor]

...Simon recoils from the light, his eyes accustomed to the comfortable dimness only a great stone castle can provide, and glances with forced disinterest at the treasure trove of ancient tomes which lines one great wall from top to bottom. Surely it is here somewhere, the thought is fleeting and foreign, as if someone else is doing the thinking for him. The rest of place can continue going to the ruin it seeks, as long as I can find this one thing. Hoping that Zegmorien cannot read thoughts, he agrees far too quickly, "Ah, yes, libraries are really all the same, if you stop to think about it. And Vaults, catacombs, dark and hidden dungeons? Boring, so they are." The rest of the tour, you fool! That is definitely not the kind of thing he would think at himself, Simon realizes, and is a little shaken by the speed with which he complies. "I would love to see the upstairs, Sir Zegmorien, especially if this fantastic place has antique furniture to match the exquisite archtecture!"

The small but curious eyes of animals have moved elsewhere, for now, and the two make their way up great curving stairs upon returning to the main entry hall...

[Zegmorien]

As they make their way up the stairs Zegmorien points across to the great old clock sitting in the foyer and says, "Probably one of the most important things to remember is to keep that old thing wound up. It may not look like it, but the internal mechinism is linked to this very castle. At certain hours of the day and night, it controls various vents to control air flow and portcullis in the dungeon.. " He quickly adds, "Just kidding about that last bit of course!"

Zegmorien and Simon make it to the top of the winding staircase and enter the main hall of the second floor. He points out various ancestors' portraits lining the hall as they make their way to the main bedroom chamber tower entrance. After climibing a narrow staircase up for quite some time he says, "This is probably my favorite room of the place.." He says as he opens the door. He looks around quickly to make sure there are no bird droppings on the floor and then motions for Simon to enter.

The tower chamber appears more like an alchemist's laboratory rather than a bedroom. The circular walls are made of stone with arrow slit windows and an unusually well polished marble floor. Above is a catherdral style ceiling with various mechanical components hanging in mid air. Some looking quite surgical in nature. Along with a complete 30 volume Al-Tasrif books enclosed in glass on a wall. Zegmorien seems to beam with pride as he peers around the room and then says, "Ahh.. the view will be what I will miss most about this place of course.." He glances at the slit-like window and decides to add, "When standing right next to the window of course."

He waits for Simon to begin examining the various contraptions in the room then goes on to say, "My uncle left most of this of course. But I didn't have the heart to get rid of anything.. " Just as Simon is lifting a well sharpened scalpel he adds, "I tend to use some of the more practical items for such activities as.. apple peeling of course."

[Grim Jestor]

Simon makes a mental note to examine the great clock more closely as he follows his host into the upper main hall, forcing himself to not look at it with anything more than a passing glance, and forcing a short chuckle out at the bit about the dungeons. As they walk past the portraits, he feels unfriendly eyes on the back of his neck, and quickly turns his head, just in time to see one of the painted ancients form a cruel smile as its eyes dart back to staring straight ahead at the opposite wall. How can he live in this place?, Simon wonders to himself, And not be more paranoid than he is?

It all begins to make sense to him as they enter the next room, a madhouse of scientific equipment which only a fool could believe to actually be a sleeping room. The great bed at the room's center is fitted with equally great chains of polished steel, and suspicious-looking electrical wires snake down the walls, across the floor, and end somewhere under the silk sheets and down-filled coverlets which pretend to complete the illusion of comfort. I doubt he even had an uncle, Simon half-mutters somewhere inside his mind, but his thoughts are interrupted by the most delightful and appetizing smell coming from a jumble of laboratory equipment on a small stone workbench near the aforementioned window. A small flame gutters and smokes under an array of glass tubes, where a boiling, dark reddish-black liquid bubbles merrily away as if it were a teapot in some country grandmother's cottage... Maybe even with a big, bad wolf on his way to a late lunch, that's how idealistic it acts, if in fact a boiling test-tube of what looks like blood can be said to act like anything.

"...Is that... is that what I think it is?", Simon finally asks, hesitantly for fear of what the answer might be... but also for fear of the hunger which rumbles through him like some out of control wagon, pulled by screaming horses and devoid of a driver. The poor fellow must have jumped when he saw the cliff's edge, finally giving up on saving his beasts,the invisible voice speaks up inside his head, but Simon does not have time to wonder why his subconscious friend is elaborating on metaphor. He is too busy smelling the most wonderful thing he has ever smelled, and he feels himself drawn toward it, unable to resist...