My name IRL is Amanda.

[tinuviel]

It's actually quite a pretty name, now I think about it. A-man-da. When I was seven, my friends constantly teased me about how it they could say it as a MAN, durrrr because being called the opposite gender is apparently pretty insulting. But we were all seven then, and homophobes would find being called a transexual quite derogatory. What sort of humour do seven year olds then? I thought I was reeeeeal grown up then, secretly taking pride in the face that the lates episode of Friends didn't set me on a laughing fit, like it did to so many other children. From a 16-year-old perspective, the childish brand of humour is pretty genius, because so many people nowadays are unable to find mirth in something so simple, like a slapstick joke. What is so funny about slapstick jokes? All it is: person a slips up, cracks head open. person b finds it hilarious. Because they weren't on the recieving end? Is the laughing merely gratefulness at that? Maybe people can find better things to be grateful at. How about the fact that they weren't plonked into the body of say... a showdog? Poor things anyway. Imagine doing backflips for a living... not exactly a living... for your owner's living? If they did it for their own living, that's like a professional breakdancing. As for your owner's living; my mother always used to tell me stories of how runaway children would be caught, have their limbs forcibly removed and sent out to bridges and subways in the cities to beg through gaining sympathy. Do you ever give money to beggars? I'll probably sound like a total jerk for saying this, but a load of them probably deserve to be there in the first place (alcoholism, drug-abuse, etcetc baaawww) so I don't give money to a lot of them. It keeps them out there. Maybe if they have a dog to feed I'll give it to them, then I spend the rest of the day feeling incredibly generous. It's a pretty good feeling, I'm sure many of you would know the feeling. Christmas is full of it, which is probably why I'm on a high and writing this. That full packet of bourbons may also have something to do with it; there were 16 of them, I believe, each counting for 9% of my daily recommended intake of saturates. I can't do the math, so I pulled out a calculator and counted that I'd had 153% of my daily recommended intake of saturates. That, in due course, will make me fat. It's funny, these days (especially because it's around Christmas, which is also synonymous with gluttony) I ponder on how I'd look fat. Maybe I'll look like an apple? Have you ever read those stupid gossipy magazines about what size you are? Pear? Banana? Durian (only mohawked punks need apply)? Apple is one of them, which I guess... is pretty blocky. Blocky women look masculine, which would probably be appropriate to me seeing I'm a MAN, durrrr. It sounds pretty alike my name IRL, which is Amanda.

I think it sounds prettier just as Amanda.

tl;dr: you don't really care.