King of the Hill

[Marcus]

Marcus unleashes a badger, which immediately goes chasing after Buttercup's bio. As she runs off to save her mushroomMUSHROOM from the badgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadgerbadger, he quietly takes possession of the hill.

[JackZackson]

:digs a very large moat to the top of the hill and then directs Marcus' attention to the unfeasibly large carnivorous fish now snapping at him from the moat:

Recognize him?

:stands on the hill as Marcus flees:

[Furion]

:"observes" (my new title) JZ leaving the hill, and decides to take a nap on it for a while.

:dons a Burger King crown while he's at it.

[Uzxhra]

Uzxhra challenges Furion to a drinking contest, offering him some Uzxhra Special Mk.2... Thanks to the troll's greater size and tolerance to alcoholic beverages, he is the last thing standing as Furion passes out!

"Woooooh*hic*ooo, meeeeee verrrry o*hic*wwwn hiyllll!"

[Sergei]

Invoking sound geological principles, Sergei causes a large storm to appear over the spot he is standing. As the torential rains come down, erosion cuts away at the ground around him. Then as thousands of years pass, isostatic principles slowly allow the ground to rise. In several millenia, Sergei's hill grows until it surpasses the old hill....

What the heck is this!?!

Okay, really, he tripped Uz and rolled him down the hill into an abandoned mine shaft. Sergei scampers to the top, which he immediately barricades with cardboard boxes. He sets up a defacto puppet government and becomes the King of the Hill™. And since he trademarked it, he wins!

[PiRa]

:comes up with a new strategy, Sergei, why don't we *share* the hill? Waits until he gains Sergei's trust and pokes him down the hill when he is least expecting it. Dissolves the current puppet government and establishes the head puppet (the sock puppet with the least holes in it) as the new head of state and PiRa becomes Supreme Ruler of the Hill™.

[JackZackson]

:hobbles to the top of the hill all bandaged up:

Quick PiRa the villagers are being attacked by the Dragon, you have to save them!

Stands on the hill as PiRa gallops off to save the day

[Uzxhra]

Uzxhra cralws up from the mine shaft, and heads for the hill... "Qooiyck, Jack, m*hic*e found a caaaaache of tiyees down dereeeee, boot me couldsss see sc*hic*avenggers alreaady on deiyr way! Move noooow n' Ye miyght ssssstilll gotsss a chaance ta fiynnnd soom!"

As Jack leaves, Uzxhra takes the hill!

[Furion]

:runs up the hill.

Uzxhra, Uzxhra, some farmies were claiming they have better drunken troll speak than you!

*keeps the hill warm for Uzxhra while Uzxhra goes to put the farmies in their place*

(No one, and I mean no one, does better troll speak than Uzi )

[Sergei]

Sergei spots his old friend Furion at the top of the hill, so he moseys on up to chit chat. After talking about baseball, Sergei suggests they play catch just for fun. They toss about the ol' ball for a few minutes when Sergei throws a particular wicked pitch into the ground, sending a tough grounder at Furion. Of course, the Gold Glover makes a diving stop and goes to make the tough throw to first.

Expect there is no first base. Embarassed, Furion trots off to find the ball, which has actually rolled into a nearby tar pit, so it'll never be found. Sergei regretfully, but with a devious smile, marks Furion down for the error and takes back the hill, which he names George.